ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
