So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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