Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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