used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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