Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
