The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
