So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Randomize
