I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
