Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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