I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
NoShamevember. You game?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
