White coat. Heels.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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