Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
