I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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