I will die if light touches me.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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