it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
