Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
