explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
