I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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