Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
