That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
