who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
