I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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