Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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