I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
