Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We need to get me chipped asap
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
