so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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