the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
