He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
