Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
