Kiss
Puke
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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