this beer tastes like vomit already
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
