he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
