By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
