The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
why is half of my head shaved?
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