just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
