I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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