i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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