i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
