You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
