all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
