Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Text me some of your sweat
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
