woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
