I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
