Where is the hickey?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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