I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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