Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
