As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize