I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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