At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
