well you can't waste a boner
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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