how hairy? two words: wookie tits
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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