your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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