Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
