how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
