they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
