"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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