They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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