With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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