Don't you send me to vm
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
