Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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