i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
