Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
