You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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