my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
